Pocket performance

Before I got on the bus to Osan today to order some custom cowboy boots, I ate lunch at a tiny Korean-style cafe in the bus terminal. When I went to pay, I didn't have enough money, so I begged the ajumas' patience while I stepped out to withdraw some cash from the ATM right outside the door. An ajuma is a middle age, motherly Korean woman, and there were three running this cafe. When they saw the ATM not cooperating with my request, they kindly repeated, "Daum, daum," next time, next time. They even helpfully motioned me out the door. It was endearing.

But I had a secret. I recently bought an emergency keyring cash capsule where I store a spare 10,000 won bill (about $10). As I resisted their charity and reached into my pocket, they were confused and their forgiving reassurances increased in pitch. "Jahm kuh manyo," I had to repeat, motioning them to calm down, as I retrieved my keys, unscrewed the capsule, and withdrew the spare bill to their approval. "O-ah!" they cheered in Korean fashion, taking the capsule from my hand to inspect it as they nodded in understanding and explained to each other what magic I had wrought.

Noticing the clock, I had to go, but I couldn't resist a departing flourish to my captive audience. "Sa-ee pen issoyo?" I asked, feigning nothing to write with as I grabbed my chest and pockets searching for a pen. "Issoyo!" one woman cried, reaching behind her for a pen. "Aniyo," I assured her, reaching for my keys again. I removed the matchstick-length telescoping keyring pen I bought the same time as the cash capsule, extended the pen, and demonstrated its purpose to their renewed oohs and ahhs.

Then I grabbed my bag and exited the stage, er, the cafe. Performing is fun.

NPR Under Fire After Canning Juan Williams

The very best line from this article about Juan Williams' firing from NPR for speaking of the fear he feels when he sees "people who are in Muslim garb" in airports comes from this deliciously alliterative quote from Mike Hukabee.

"NPR has discredited itself as a forum for free speech and a protection of the First Amendment rights of all and has solidified itself as the purveyor of politically correct pabulum and protector of views that lean left."

FoxNews.com - NPR Under Fire After Canning Juan Williams

Boran

I took a Sunday ride on my scooter, anxious for some mild adventure, reminiscent of the times I struck out on unknown back roads when I lived in Gapyeong.  A road out of town turned into a highway, uncrowded this weekend before Chuseok.  The signs told me I was headed to Cheonan, but since I wasn't so adventurous to drive the 32 kilometers to get there, after a while, I sought an exit or turn-around to go home.  Upon finding one, I thought instead to take the village road before me and explore some more.  After all, the great adventures come when you alter or scrap your original plans, right?

Small houses and schools and shops lined the narrow road that wound through this rural place.  I could spot no signs identifying where I was as I drove at a leisurely pace, still encountering little traffic and few people.  I felt no danger, but as so often happens in this country, I felt like I was intruding or venturing into a forbidden place.  What Koreans I did encounter stared, of course, but only out of harmless curiosity.  Often I thought to turn back, but I couldn't answer the "Why?" that came into my head next, so I kept driving.

Almost time to harvest

Rice fields appeared and buildings became fewer and fewer as the road further narrowed and followed a small river. I drove up as the river ran down, and I noticed the grains on the rice stalks turning from green to yellow and growing heavy.  In some place, random swaths of stalks had fallen, indicating it must be close to harvesting time.  The fallen stalks used to appear man-caused to my inexperienced eye, but it's so haphazard and common, I guess it must be natural.

As the road switched back and forth over the river on narrow, precarious bridges with mere three inch barriers on the sides, I wondered if I'd be able to find my way out of this Greek maze.  Too bad I forgot my yarn.  Parts of me hoped I'd get lost or that my scooter would break down and that I'd be forced to stumble through my broken Korean and ask for some help.  Better than changing your plans, the real great adventures come when your plans fail and you get in trouble, I say.  As long as you come out alive and with your important body parts intact, you get to tell the best stories later.

A place to stop and write

Still driving up and wondering if I'd ever reach a dead end, the river returned to a stream returned to a brook, but the road continued, and so did I.  Since the weather was so pleasant, and I'd brought my writing book, I thought about stopping to write at one of the elevated communal platforms I passed that are common in the country.  They provide shade and a common gathering place on hot summer evenings for adults to talk and gossip.  I worried though that would constitute trespassing, so it wasn't until I spied a granite picnic table beneath a tree that I finally stopped to write.

A dozen Koreans have walked or driven by in the last half hour.  As often as white foreigners like me stand out and draw attention here, they're also ignored.  I am completely convinced after spending several years in this country, that I have the power of invisibility at certain times, but I am not unique.  There is something in the Korean culture that can make Koreans blind to people and things that are different.  Whether it's because they're uncomfortable or just unaware, there are times you can float through this place unseen.  It's a wild thing to experience.

If I get lost going home, I hope they see me.

After arriving safely home

Right before I got back on the highway, I was still burning to know where I was.  I passed a gang of six elderly Koreans chatting with one another on a raised communal platform, like the one in the picture.  I screwed up my courage and turned around to ask them the name of the village.  Whereas you can usually count on Koreans my age and younger to know a little English, these seniors likely wouldn't have known enough to help me if I couldn't piece together the right words.  I pulled up, they all stared, and I said, after greeting them, "Yeogi irrum mweoyayyo?" which was the best way I could think to ask, "Here name what is?"  "Boran," one man freely offered (think "bow-rahn").  At last!

He and the others threw a lot of Korean at me I didn't know, but I was able to understand enough to answer where I lived, where I'm from, what I do, and where I work.  We shared a lot of smiles, I wished them a happy Chuseok, and I drove away laughing hysterically (once I was out of sight) at the thrill of communicating (communicating!) with some locals.

And because the Koreans in Boran saw me.
*

Hunting for Androids in South Korea

Motorola Motoroi

I received my alien registration card in the mail three days ago, long before I expected it.  So, I started shopping for a Motorola Motoroi at SK Telecom stores and discovered it's hard to find because, purportedly, it has been discontinued.  By the time someone helped me find one last night, I'd lost my desire for the Motoroi.  It looks way too much like my Omnia and if I'm going to buy a new phone, I want a new phone.  With the Motoroi fading in popularity, I spent the afternoon Friday researching two other options.

Samsung Galaxy S

The Samsung Galaxy S (no add-on names here) was released here earlier this year, I believe.  I also found this phone hard to find when I started shopping, because it's so raging popular.  While the Galaxy here just has a 5 MP camera and no flash (Motoroi has 8 MP and a flash), it's thinner, sexier, and it has a front facing camera.  Actually, a surprisingly large number of non-smart phone phones have front facing cameras here.  I've observed in the past Korea leads the US in cell phone technology, but since I returned it appeared to me they're trailing us now thanks to the iPhone, which doesn't appear to be nearly as popular here, and Android, but with the proliferation of front facing cameras (and I've seen many people making video calls with them in the wild.), I'm withholding judgement on the front runner.

So, I want the Galaxy S, but (and this is a big but) I'd have to pay full price: $825!  The Motoroi I found is on sale for $215 and Koreans can buy the Galaxy for about the same price, but I have to pay full price because I'm a foreigner.  Isn't that crazy discrimination?  I pushed hard to make sure I understood this correctly.  I've never heard of such a thing.  In spite of the contract, this rule is based on the fact that foreigners like me too often leave before the contract is up, allegedly.  I was told I could go online to find a used Galaxy S, but given its popularity I doubt it'll be too much cheaper.  It's logical to think I could buy a Galaxy S from the States, but I'm learning Korea is so bloody restricted to only their home grown or approved phones, it's hard to believe it'd work.  So, overpay for a used Galaxy S to get my Android fix?

Samsung Galaxy Tab

While I was researching, I also investigated the Galaxy Tab (click the drool-worthy link).  I thought I found it had been released here in the spring, but I was wrong.  Something about a stolen picture of the Tab being released in China and Samsung delaying the release to redesign it somehow was the explanation I got when I complained.  Doesn't make any sense, but it remains unavailable.  Too bad.  I was in the market, I'll have money very soon, and I got a little worked up that I'd be one of the first to have a super sweet, big Android device in my hands soon.  Dammit.  With every major carrier in the US selling them soon, perhaps it'll be Tabs across America when I return.

For now, I remain phone-less.  I may settle for buying a used, boring phone to hold me over until I make a decision or have better choices.  I just want my Android.

Pillows and self-serve soda

On Thursday, I took a few hours off work and rode the to Daejoen, a city of 1.5 million 45 minutes east of Gongju.  With the results of my AIDS/drug test in hand, I traveled to the immigration office to submit an application for my alien registration card.  I representative from the school usually submits the application on behalf of foreigners or at least accompanies them to the office, but I've done this enough times, even by myself, I felt confident I could do it on my own.  My motivation to get my application submitted is that I can't get a "hand phone" until I have my AR card.  After an unusually long wait of two hours, I got my application submitted.  The immigration officer said it will take 10 days to process, mail, and receive the card in the mail (I assume business days), which might turn out to take longer because of the upcoming Chuseok  holiday (Sept. 21-23). 

My secondary purpose in going to Daejeon was to go to Costco.  From the two times I went to Costco in Seoul several years ago, I learned that much of what they carry is customized to the Korean customer base, but they also carry many things we want and expect them to carry in the States, like Lifetime tables and chairs.  I planned to just browse the store to familiarize myself with what they carry, but I hoped to find a few things I've been unable to find on my "to buy" list, like pillows and sheets.  It's tricky to explain how Korean pillows and sheets differ from American pillows and sheets, but I don't care for them here.

To my eyes, the massive Costco building I saw is a heartwarming tribute to American consumerism and capitalism.  Korea has their share of homegrown and outside megastores, but Costco screams, "You need our reasonable quality stuff, and you need them in large quantities, and we're even going to charge you a membership fee to get in the store, so you'll lust after our stuff more by thinking you're missing out if you don't have a card."  THAT'S America.

After entering the building and showing my membership card, I walked through the big screen TVs and stopped to don a pair of 3D glasses to watch my first 3D large screen television.  It was pretty cool.  Past the electronics, I found the bedding, and it was all Korean styles until I discovered a large bin selling two packs of queen size Sealy Posturepedic pillows.  Amazing!  I might have danced a little jig on the spot.  I was additionally pleased they were so cheap, just 15,900 won (about $16).  I just bought a pair, though I wanted four, as I had to consider how to carry everything home on the bus.  Unfortunately, they didn't sell pillow cases to match the pillows, and I doubt I'll find them here.

Aside from a 20 pack of dish towel size towels, that's all I bought.  It was tempting to buy more, but as I learned here last time around, it doesn't do much good to shop too often where you have to buy in large quantities if you don't have your own ride to get it home.

As you'll be able to tell from the pictures, the food court at the end of the store is nearly identical to those back home.  I smiled when I saw they offered bulgogi bakes along with chicken bakes, so I had one.  It was outstanding, sort of like a Philly cheesesteak sandwich.  

The best part of my journey came when I ordered my food and was offered an empty soda cup.  When I first came to Korea eight years ago, I was a little obsessed with finding self-serve fountain drinks.  They were practically impossible to find, so I had to settle for fountain drinks from McDonald's and KFC and canned soda, something I hated at the time but have since accepted.  When I saw these twin soda machines, I smiled.  "It only took me eight years to find you," I thought in a trembling voice, as I contemplated kneeling in homage.

And now I finally know I can get a self serve fountain drink in Korea whenever I have two hours and about $16 in bus and taxi fares to spare.  If I go, at least I'll have the chance to buy two more pillows, huh?

I found salt!

After four years' absence and after completing the requirements to get my teaching certificate (and getting it!), I returned to Korea to teach.  Frantic preparations the weeks leading up to my departure included stuffing and organizing all my possessions into a 10x30 storage unit, and with the recent changes in my family and the acquisition of better furniture, more books, and hoards of teaching supplies, that was not an easy or quick task.  Fortunately, everything seemed to come together in the final week, and what was once a stressful rush to pack and prepare for the flight and to be away from home for a year turned out to be relatively routine.

Now I've been in Gongju, South Korea for nearly two weeks.  The whole experience of being back in this strange country has been surreal.  The food is great, my Korean has quickly returned, and it almost feels like I never left.  The monsoon season is nearly over, so it's still oppressively humid and rainy.  My small two bedroom apartment has air conditioning, mercifully, but not much else, so I wrote up a list of things I need: a fan, western bedsheets and pillows, towels, dishes, computer speakers, an extension cord, and salt.

This country certainly has salt, but in the same manner we all crave the brands and styles of our home country, I wanted an inexpensive pair of salt and pepper shakers, an almost impossible thing to find.  One by one I've found most of the things on my list (but not a fan, yet!), but I'd almost resigned myself to asking for a pair of salt and pepper shakers from home.  Then I went to Seoul on Sunday to meet a good friend, and I wandered into Shinsegae, a massive department store, and while strolling through the ethnic section of the grocery store in the basement, I was stunned to discover...

...a pair of salt and pepper shakers!  I nearly stumbled, I was so surprised to find precisely what I'd envisioned in my quest.  What surprised me even more, though, was the price: $4.25!  This disposable, picnic set never runs more than $2.00 at home in the States (does it?), but you can bet I bought it anyway for the inconvenience in money and waiting it would have cost me to order from home.  Still, it seems a little pricey, right?

The next morning, it was all worth it as I sat and ate my hard boiled egg for breakfast with real salt and pepper. {contented sigh}

Tasty video nuggets

How many times have we all set an ambitious goal to do some specific, productive thing every day and then failed? Other than eating, sleeping, and spending special time alone in the water closet, I can't think of anything I'm disciplined enough to do every day.

I recently threatened an overwrought, well-meaning aunt I'd create a new blog to hide my cries for help. You know, so nobody would hear my cries for help.

It's complicated.

To create an artificial sense of accomplishment and to at least satisfy the desire to create a new blog, I created a new blog.

The new blog is a place to post a new, fun video clip every day.

Ahhhh....that's a nice, artificial sense of accomplishment.

Now, can I actually do it every day? I've got two remaining fingers on my left hand to count how many things I do every day, so I says, I say, "Yes!"

No words

MANtage

YouTube was made for Barats and Bereta.

Get inspired

I can't decide if this two minute video montage of 40 inspirational movie clips is more inspirational or humorous. Whatever it is, it's short and fun to guess which movies the clips come from and whether or not you've seen them.

The editor shares his story and transcript here.

Kermit and Joey

Over the past two years I've been surprised to discover how Sesame Street is no longer the universal part of childhood it used to be. Whenever I find a reason, cultural, educational, or otherwise, to reference the iconic show to my students, I get dumb, blank stares.

Unable to connect with my students over MY favorite childhood TV show, I've taken to scouring YouTube for memorable Sesame Street clips. This first clip is my favorite. Of course, the Cookie Monster gimmick is cute, but the final seconds where Kermit and Joey kiss and make up is endearing.



Two is better than one, so I present another classic Kermit and Joey clip. As they count their way to 20, it's especially cute how Joey tries to change the subject by commenting on Kermit's eyes. In the words of one YouTube commenter, it's like she's stalling because she can't remember what number comes next.

Feliz Cumpleaños

Originally uploaded by digitalnut One day a couple of weeks ago, while waiting for the lunch bell, I asked my 3rd grade class if they'd like to learn how to say anything in any language. New to my games, their answers were a blend of yeses, nos, and uncertainty. Perfect.

I said, "Ask me how to say anything in any language."

They said, "How do you say anything in any language?"

I said, "Anything in any language," and waited.

Some got it, but most did not. Before everyone caught up, I said, "OK, this is real. Now I'll teach you how to say, oh, happy birthday in Spanish."

I said, "Ask me how to say happy birthday in Spanish."

They said, "How do you say happy birthday in Spanish?"

I said, "Happy birthday in Spanish."

Most everyone got it by now, and there was laughter all around. As we waited for the lunch bell, we practiced other random phrases in random languages. Their eyes lit up with mischievous glee when I suggested that they wow their parents with their new found skill. I've been amused to hear, with varying degrees of success, how their own stunts went.

Fast forward to last Thursday when I was sitting in restaurant recounting this tale to a friend, also a teacher. At the very moment when I said, "How do you say happy birthday in Spanish," an old woman carrying a baby walked by our booth. I believe she was Mexican.

Overhearing but misunderstanding the context of my question, she paused and turned to us and sweetly interjected, "Happy birthday in Spanish is Feliz Cumpleaños," and then walked away.

I love helpful people.

Boom De Ah Dah!

Color me giddy that I found the expansive Discovery Channel Boom De Ah Dah! commercial on YouTube.

It's especially enjoyable if you follow and love, as I do, some of the shows in the clip, like Dirty Jobs, Man vs. Wild, and MythBusters.

And who doesn't love Stephen Hawking? See him in the last 6 seconds.

Cool.

Weekly recap

With a great week of blogging in the bag, here's a recap of posts.

Story of the week: The party is over

Picture of the week: Korean bathroom instructions

Video of the week: Brian & Katie's evolution of wedding dance

Link of the week: TV buff goldmine

TV buff goldmine

www.tv.com

If you're a movie buff, you must be a TV buff, too.

Becoming a TV buff requires a website. I present www.tv.com. I use it daily to track when episodes from my favorite series play, the names of episodes, and to read up on facts and trivia about series and episodes. Like IMDb, www.tv.com is broad and deep and authoritative.

Brian & Katie's Evolution of Wedding Dance

The first minute and a half of my favorite video this week is dull, but it gets better.

Watch it.

The original Evolution of Dance is equally entertaining. (95 million views can't be wrong!)

Korean bathroom instructions

How to use a urinal
Originally uploaded by digitalnut

One day, while strolling through the TechnoMart in Seoul, I felt the call of nature. While answering said call, I was faced with the above picture. Though I can read Korean, I couldn't understand the words, but I had no problem understanding the graphics.

How about you?

The party is over

Good Bye Chuncheon
Originally uploaded by digitalnut

I'm just shy of two years home from Korea. In some ways, returning to Utah was the right decision: I regained a small portion of my sanity, I proved myself as a capable, appealing teacher on my home court, and I even got back into the dating game (thanks to a helpful push).

In some other ways, though, I wonder if it remains right to stay home. The better money aside, the life of an expatriate teaching English in South Korea is simply more exciting, and I look at the number of pictures these days I take as exhibit number one.

I bought my first digital camera six years ago, prior to visiting China for the first time. Since then, I've organized my photos on my computer by year and month. Though I was an aspiring photog from the beginning, it took a while to reach my monthly average of 300 - 400 pictures a month, which is where it stood two years ago.

Since returning home, I'm lucky if I average 50 a month. I concede we're always surrounded by a multitude of picture taking possibilities, but going from exotic Asia to ordinary America has left me uninspired. Out of habit, I still carry my Canon PowerShot S50 everywhere, but I'm ashamed to admit it often lies forgotten in the bottom of my backpack.

"So," an old friend recently asked, "why don't you go back to Korea?"

Perhaps I could rejoin the dating scene back in Korea, though I'd have to give up living my beloved 춘천 (Chuncheon - see the highway sign in the photo). Perhaps I could take a leave of absence from getting my teaching credentials, though the folks at the USOE ARL office would probably say no. And perhaps I could even find a job in Korea, given my experience, that doesn't require me to take entry level pay and work entry level hours.

Those are a lot of uncertainties I'd be willing to take if it wasn't for the nagging feeling I have that I'm trying to recreate the perfect party. You know how it goes: with apparently little planning or forethought, you and a friend throw a perfect party. The friends, the food, the drinks, the atmosphere, it all comes together and even becomes legendary as the perfect party.

Later, in an attempt to recreate the fun, you try to recreate every element of said perfect party to no avail. Something about that first party will always remain elusive because you've elevated it beyond what it actually was and closed yourself off to a new experience.

In some ways, I prefer to preserve my memories of Korea, China, Taiwan, and Japan as they are in my mind right now: the perfect party.

Movie buff goldmine

www.imdb.com

I can't recall when or how I discovered The Internet Movie Database, but it's been a favorite resource at least since I first ventured to South Korea in 2002. IMDb contains such a breadth and depth of movie information, it's a wonder more people (besides Carly and me) don't seem to know about it.

With data such as release dates, actors, quotes, trivia, goofs, ratings, reviews, and plot summaries, anyone with the desire can pass himself off as a movie buff. I'm half convinced Laura Holt and Remington Steele used IMDb to verbally spar with one another and find similarities between their latest case and their favorite Hollywood classics. Never mind Al Gore had yet to invent the Internet in 1982. (Wow, I researched and learned he sort of did invent the Internet. Sneaky bastard.)

Aside from tracking an actor's movie career or reading about the hidden goofs in a movie, the slickest thing I've discovered to do on IMDb is to search for movies two actors starred in together. Can't recall what movie Edward Norton and Brad Pitt starred in? Go, for example, to Edward Norton's filmography page, scroll to the bottom of the page, and enter Brad Pitt. The search leads to Fight Club (a great movie).

Lest one mistake my efforts to promote the benefits and enjoyment of stuffing your head with movie trivia with Hollywood adoration, I can only say I don't. Clever, huh?

Late to the game

Though I'm really nothing more than a typical consumer of electronics, I take a certain amount of pride in being an early adopter. I bought my first digital camera, a Canon Powershot A40, in May 2002 (it had 2 megapixels). I bought my first MP3 player in early 2003 (it held 512MB). I bought and still use my excellent 40GB iRiver H140 the following year. And while I still don't own my own Mac, I gave up on Windows in favor of the new Intel Macs more than 2 years ago.

The list of software and Internet services I adopted before every other schmo is even longer: Picasa (way before Google noticed), P2P, Skype, Ceiva, Firefox, Flickr, del.icio.us, and more. Oh, and Blogger: I starting blogging in mid-2002 before most anyone knew what a blog was.

Many of the services I used had a social networking element, especially since Web 2.0 became big 2 years ago, but none of my friends, acquaintances, or family shared my interests enough to convince me social networking worked. Making them work seemed like too much work.

When I heard the buzz about MySpace and Facebook, I was skeptical. Something about the missionary zeal with which people tried to get other to join turned me off. With school out for the summer though, I've been bored, so I signed up for Facebook.

Then, zoom! Within 36 hours I had 14 friends, real friends, people I've fallen out of touch with, people I might not have been able to find otherwise. It's all very exciting. And life-affirming. I mean, I feel so popular.

And now I want you to join. Won't you please join my newfound cult? Please? Everyone's doing it. Even me.